Friendship Coach | When does friendship change?
Making The Shift To Friendship & Purpose
Hey Best Friend, Sister, Girlfriend
Quick question. Do you recall the days of grade school, high school, and college, when all you had to do is show up, and you somehow navigated and connected to your tribe? Life was all so simple then. We connected through groups, activities, shared interests, parents, friends, and siblings, etc.
When did it all change? Well, let's talk about it. Once you're out of college, or in general, focusing on your career, family, and more, the separation begins. You're no longer headed out to the hottest social clubs, meeting sorority friends, or even sleeping in after a long night of partying. You're beginning to take life a little more seriously.
Now, does the shift and your refocus cause you to lose friends, disconnect, and move on, only to wake up and realize you've lost your tribe?
According to a recent article on CNN. Soon after your mid-20s, your social circle shrinks, according to a recent study by scientists from Aalto University in Finland and the University of Oxford in England.
The teams analyzed data from 3 million mobile phone users to identify the frequency and patterns of whom they contacted and when, as well as overall activity within their networks.
Men and women were found to be socially promiscuous – making more and more friends and social contacts – until the age of 25. After that point, they started losing them rapidly, with women losing them at an initially faster rate than men. The average 25-year-old woman contacts about 17.5 people per month, while a man contacts 19 people.
No, Facebook friends don't count.
This decline continues for the rest of your life, or at least until retirement, where it plateaus, probably due to reduced data among this age group.
Why does it happen? It comes down to investments.
Ok, let's look at the thirties. During this time, people are beginning to look at those around them. This is normally when most are looking for a partnership and marriage. Men and women are very precise about who they're looking for and how they share their time. Friendships begin to hold a different purpose and spce. Gone are the days of a casual relationship that serves no purpose or value to who they're becoming.
Noticeably, your contact with people decreases as you age due to life becoming so routine—home, work, gym, after-work activity repeat. This cycle will repeat over and over if you're not aware. Accordingly, rapid loss of friends happens in both men and women. Experts generally consider this formation of an "inner circle" to be more important to women, mainly due to them having children. As explained by a recent CNN article, "This is the age when you start losing friends."
The investment in Friendships shifts as we get older. Priorities change and eventually cycle back around in the latter years. Evolutionary friendships with women are vital as its believed that their tribe helps them raise their children. While men, on the other hand, value status, networking, and career advancement. This is where we enter with both men and women quality over quantity.
As we look at where we are today, we mustn't be jaded by the connections via social media. Your likes and friends via Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or even Linkedin may be revolutionary. Still, they will never take the place of Face-to-Face contact. Your village may be small, but they're essential to life, balance, and harmony.
We're more intentional about who's allowed in our intimate circles. Boundaries are set, and there is a certain level of discernment taking with each person we allow close to our inner spirit. A small village is ok; actually, it may be better.
As we've all become global citizens and have friends around the globe, take note of those who are really there for you. An open ear, a teardrop here or there, your remember when, or whenever you need a really hard laugh, who's there for you? Closeness is key. Creating a bond on love and reliability is essential for human nature.
If you've pondered where you are and need help figuring this all out, don't hesitate to reach out to me, your Friendship Coach at Friendshipcoaching.com. I'm here to help.
Friendship and purpose seem to go hand in hand. We all need that special someone. The choice is up to you.
Your Girlfriend Next Door & Friendship Coach
Andrea
